Oh my Jim.

I was stalking my Jims and got incredibly sad. She has definitely become a party girl. I feel like I put so much into the relationship and am always going out of my way to hang out. She's never made a birthday party or actually any party in fact unless it was a drop by for food then running out with other people. I love her though. She is my best friend, but sometimes its a little hard not to be sad. I'm not someone who gives up on people. When it comes to friendship, I'm about as loyal as you can get. I'll never walk out of the relationship no matter how horrible i'm treated. Thats just me. I don't ever expect anything from people. I just don't cuz then I don't have to worry about disappointment. I'm not sure why I went on a rant but there it is. She was soooo close to being saved and then she gets sooo far then displays interest in God again, then goes crazy. I want her saved so badly it just makes me cry. :(
My main mission this summer is again for Steph and Em. I feel called to stay home with them. They need Him so badly and are so close. Its driving me insane!!! Ugh. Thats a common theme though. I lost someone else who was so close and it really affects me. Every time I see him I hurt so bad and just want to cry. I miss him. Not because I liked him, because honestly I didn't at all, but we were getting so close. He was becoming a very dear friend, someone I could really confide in and lean on and he felt the same way. He was just a dumb boy who should have left his feelings at the doorstep. I know thats not fair, but it just complicated things. I'm not proud of how I let him go and what I let come between us and who I chose over him, making me lose him. All of it makes me so, so sad, especially when I see that he's moved on. I guess I didn't mean that much to him and its a one sided feeling of loss. :( I've been thinking about writing him a facebook message but feel like its too late. Too late. Too late. It makes me want to cry. Oh well. I guess we all lose friends.

Well.....I've pretty much fallen in love..............with Jason Derulo's "The sky is the limit." Yeah. Good stuff.