Got crap in the head!

Buddle funkers. I really want to be better. I feel like I used to be so compassionate and caring, always willing to do whatever someone needed without any thought. Now I question and think things through....I want that innocent girl back. I've lost my innocence. I miss it so badly. I don't want to be ruthless or blockheaded. I just care sooo much about certain people that when their actions are damaging to themselves, it hurts me on a very deep level. I want to step in and make everything pretty.. I can't tell you how much I have given up to fulfill that role. I want to heal and help but I become to emotionally involved and destroy it all. I'm trying sooo hard to find that balance and hate myself for how many mistakes I'm making in the process. I'm an emotional catastrophe.
I can say sorry a million times but it doesn't mean a thing until I actually start changing. One change I have made though is one I'm very proud of. I've given myself a curfew. Its weird. I've never had a curfew before. Not ever. But I really need some control and boundaries in my life right now and decided that I can't trust myself in every area of my life, and I do mean every. So I can resort back to a normal person's childhood and install the curfew.
I think my mind becomes this short due to lack of sleep and constantly on the go...not to mention way too much thinking. I need a vacation from myself..... I hate the things that get to me...get inside my heart to tear it to shreds and infest my mind........blah........

I need a reboot.