My knees hurt like my heart.

My heart is feeling a lot like my knees right now, worn and swollen, stuck to keep going and to just deal even when they want to sit down and rest.....

Seems like i'm putting much more money into this apartment thing then I'll be saving...but i'm sure it just feels that way now........I have faith that by the end of next year I will be sooo happy that we did it. :)

I love my best friends soooo much. I feel like our relationships are at a weird place right now, though. Emily doesn't confide in me like she used to...though I just got back, so i'm sure we'll bounce back. She's changed so much. She's not the jimmy i've known and loved for years. I'm the one friend thats stuck by her no matter what and it seems that its always me going out of my way for her and only hanging out with her when its convenient for her. Blah. Oh wells. I'm hoping that our relationship will return and that we can talk about God like we used to. I'm really praying that this summer she comes to God, that she falls completely into His waiting arms. Its time to step up and gather some believers that live around and pray our hearts out. My heart hurts too much holding it in.

Steph. Boy do I love that girl. If there's is one friend who has stuck by me and has been willing to kick butt to just protect my name, its her. This summer she moved into an apartment with her boyfriend. She gave her life to Christ but I see her slipping away. I'm crying even now thinking about it. I hurt so badly for her and feel like I'm failing her. I've told her a thousand times what the Bible says, and though its something that needs to be convicted of from the heart, I can't understand why she won't listen. She knows its wrong and feels guilty about it, and I can understand having a hard time stopping certain things after doing certain things for so long, but to move in where there is an absolute guarantee that those things won't stop? Its......i can't even describe it with words. I just cry. I'm going to step up my prayer with her too. Man, so much healing is needed.

My brother is also getting to that bad place again..........very worrisome.........

God, I see the hurt around me, so evident and clear. I see all the tears that are falling, so broken and filled with fear. I want to see them lifting up your name, letting go of all their shame. I want to fight for you in their lives. I want to see them break free from the devil's lies. Oh God, hear our cry. You gave your son to die. Let them come to you this summer. Wash them clean to live for you forever. Amen.