Argh

Argh. I like that sound/word/expression/whatever. It describes my life right now. Argh. Just becuase you are mad at me does not give you a right to think you can hit me. It doesn't. If I make you mad, suck it up and be a man! I pray that I may go through the rest of my life without someone raising their hand to strike me. Do people even realize what it does to a person? Yes this post seems confusing, but i'm just going to keep talking like this because I am venting. I feel like secluding myself because the stories about my summer are not really happy. I don't like saying unhappy things so maybe I should just stop talking to people. Someone rescue me! I need a knight in shining armor again. I'm sick of having to fear. Of being reduced to a crying pathetic piece of human flesh. I can't go through a second abuse. Not again. I know that I could not make it through again. But I suppose i'm finding out that I can. I am a strong person. I have to be. That strength is being tested again and by the grace of God am I going to make it through. I trust Him. Maybe there is a reason i'm going through this again. I am just so afraid of reverting back. Of being that scared little girl who withdraws from people. I don't want to be in that dark whole again. This may sound incredibly whiny, but whatever. Deal with it. God is my refuge. An everpresent help in times of trouble. He is all I have. I am so thankful for having Him as my Father. I guess i'm just going to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and just fall into His embrace....