Falling Falling Boom.

I’m so sick. What is wrong with me? I’m so sick over everything and feel so horrible, to the point where I want darkness to overtake me. I can’t believe how far I have fallen. How low I have become. I’m dying inside. Dying. The ailments overtaking me internally are becoming physical. I’m not worth it and am only hurting those I love. How could I have become this. I’m soooo sorry for all I’ve done. I’m feeling so rejected and alone. So alone that it hurts. I cry myself to sleep and pretend I’m going to make it. Its how I’m living. Its sooo wrong. I know His truth. His salvation is breathed into me. Why can’t I listen? Why can’t I just put on that helmet of salvation and tune out everything being thrown at me, reducing me to finding a false sense of love and belonging? I’m dumb. I just want love. I just want my Daddy. Pull me out and heal me. Please Lord.